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NARRATOR: The spirit world can be a confusing place, filled with ghosts, specters, phantoms, poltergeists, what have you. Even time isn't exactly constant, as in this world everything lasts for an eternity. Somehow, it pulls itself together in order to keep everything in its place. Usually.
(ZOOM IN ON RECEPTIONIST, IZ. HE IS FRANTICALLY LOOKING THROUGH A PILE OF PAPERS IN HIS "IN" BOX. HIS FEATURES INCLUDE ALWAYS SQUINTED EYES, CRU-CUT BLACK HAIR, AND A VERY SUNBURNED COMPLEXION. HE IS A GOOD WORKER, BUT IS OVER-WORKED AND IS NOW GETTING TO THE PART OF HIS SHIFT, WHICH LASTS FOR AN ETERNITY, WHERE HE IS COMPLETELY WORN OUT.)
IZ: Aw, geez... Whea's the danged tranfa papas? These people cain't hang around in limbo foreva, ya know!
(IZ'S ASSISTANT, NEMO, SCAMPERS TO THE DESK, HOLDING A MANILLA FOLDER UP TO IZ'S FACE. HE, OR "IT", [NOBODY TRULY KNOWS] IS A SPIRIT CREATURE, A SHAPE SHIFTER THAT CHANGES DEPENDING ON THE NEEDS AND SURROUNDINGS. IN THE OFFICE ON A BUSY DAY SUCH AS THIS, NEMO TAKES THE FORM OF A HYPERACTIVE GROUNDHOG CREATURE, JUST A BIT MORE COLORFUL THAN THAT OF ONE IN THE NATURAL WORLD, WITH A NAVY BLUE FUR COAT AND SHINING, LIGHT PURPLE EYES.)
NEMO: I'm sorry, sir! Sorry
sir! Sorry sir!
IZ: Good job, Nemo. Now, hand
it ovah... (IZ SNATCHES THE FOLDER FROM HIS GRASP.)
And here's your treat. (NEMO GRINS AS IZ RUMMAGES THROUGH
HIS DESK AND PULLS OUT WHAT LOOKS TO BE A GLOWING DOGGIE TREAT. HE
THROWS IT INTO THE AIR, AND NEMO CATCHES IT BEFORE IT CAN HIT THE
GROUND.) Very good, Nemo! Now, let's see hea... (IZ
GETS
A LOOK OF SHOCK ON HIS FACE, AND NEMO SCAMPERS AWAY, SEEMING TO
KNOW WHAT IS GOING WRONG.) On the boss's desk within the next hour?
What in Natural Woild is an hour?!
(A YOUTHFUL SPIRIT, ELAINA, RUNS UP TO THE DESK. HER PHYSICAL BODY DIED IN 2002 B.C., AND THEREFORE SHE HAS HAD PLENTY OF EXPERIENCE IN THE SPIRIT WORLD. IZ SQUINTS HIS EYES TO LOOK AT HER.)
ELAINA: Iz, I'm getting really worried.
IZ: Yeah, me too, Draco.
ELAINA: Draco?
IZ: Oh, I'm sorry, Princess!
I lost my glasses a whale back, I cain't seem to find 'em anywhah.
ELAINA: I understand. What's
wrong with--
IZ: If it ain't one thing, it's
anotha. Foist, I gotta deal wit' all these guys in limbo. But
before I do that, I gotta figia out what the boss means by "one hour."
ELAINA: Well, I guess Mr. Grim just
spends so much time in Natural World that he used their time instead of
ours. Poor guy's losing it. Guess you couldn't blame him, with
all the death he's caused down there.
IZ: I thought he was the
coz of all d' death.
ELAINA: Yes, that's true.
(SHE LOOKS AT IZ'S COMPUTER SCREEN.) Hey, could you see where
Philip went off to?
IZ: Pheellip? Oh, shur...
(IZ TYPES IN HIS NAME ON HIS KEYBOARD.) All right...
Pheellip has been reborn--
ELAINA: Reincarnated? And
he didn't tell me?!
IZ: 'Fraid so, Princess.
ELAINA: Where is he?
IZ: Let's see hea, let's see hea...
Ah, hea he is! His new name is Chris Gallaway. I can transpote
you down thea, if you want ta watch him for a bit.
ELAINA: Oh, I'd love to.
IZ: Now, Ah'm not garanteein' anythin'
about what he's gonna look like. With ah system of "time" hea, he
could still be a newborn, or even a really old guy.
ELAINA: Either way, I'd like to
be around him through his new life.
IZ: Shur. Ah'll have a transpote
ready in a whale.
ELAINA: Thank you so much, Iz.
IZ: Anytame, Princess! (SHE
WALKS AWAY) Ah wondah how much more of a "hour" Ah have left....
SCENE 2:
THE NATURAL WORLD, AT CHRIS'S HOUSE.
CHRIS
SITS AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE, MUNCHING ON SOME CORN FLAKES WHILE READING
HIS HOROSCOPE IN THE PAPER. HE IS 17 YEARS OLD, AND HE LOOKS LIKE
THE STEROTYPICAL "AUDIO-VISUAL CLUB" TYPE. WITH THICK GLASSES, NEATLY
PARTED BLONDE HAIR, AND A NEATLY PRESSED YELLOW POLO STYLE SHIRT
BUTTONED UP ALL THE WAY, HE LOOKS LIKE A PERSON THAT WOULD BE KICKED AROUND
VERY EASILY WHEN IN THE SAME ROOM AS HIS PEERS. HIS MOTHER
(MRS. GALLAWAY) IS GETTING READY TO GO TO THE OFFICE. SHE
HOLDS A BRIEFCASE IN ONE HAND, WHICH IS REPEATEDLY SLAMMED ON THE COUNTER
FROM OLD AGE AND NEVER OPENING CORRECTLY, AND A MUG FILLED WITH HOT DECAF
COFFEE IN THE OTHER. WEARING A "POWER SUIT," SHE SEEMS TO BE HIGH
IN THE BUSINESS LADDER. [Author note: Mr. Gallaway is already
at work.]
CHRIS: That's strange. (MRS.
GALLAWAY LOOKS UP FROM HER BRIEFCASE.) I can usually depend on
my horoscopes, but this is just too much unlike me.
MRS. G: What does it say, hon?
CHRIS: "Work diligently today, and
your visions will come to life in ways unimaginable. Pay attention
to the strange dreams you have; they will help you out, believe it or not."
MRS. G: I've heard worse.
CHRIS: Me too. That's just
too unlike me, though. I hardly ever have dreams any more, and the
ones I have are about normal life. Ah, guess I'm going to lead a
boring life forever, huh mom?
MRS. G: Well, hope for the best
and become a CEO like you've always wanted to. (SHE KISSES HIM ON
THE FOREHEAD.) I'll see you tonight, hon. Oh, I despise working
on the weekends....
(MRS. GALLAWAY MAKES HER WAY OUT THE DOOR AND INTO HER CAR.)
CHRIS: Poor mom. "Keep calm throughout the day. You'll need to rest, or your weaknesses will show through and run through the workplace like wildfire."
(ELAINA APPEARS, HOVERING BY THE FRONT DOOR, HER LEGS CROSSED, BUT CHRIS DOES NOT SEE HER OR FEEL HER PRESENSE.)
ELAINA: I could have told him that.
CHRIS: Oh well. Off to the
library.
(HE PICKS UP HIS BOOKBAG AND HEADS FOR THE DOOR. HE ACTUALLY ENDS UP WALKING THROUGH ELAINA. HE STOPS FOR A MOMENT, TRYING TO OPEN THE DOOR.)
ELAINA: The nerve of him! Not even knowing his one true love is in the same room he is... Well, at least he's not an infant or a grumpy old man. I lucked out!
(SHE DOES A MID-AIR FLIP OUT OF EXCITEMENT, AND HER FIST GOES THROUGH CHRIS'S FOREHEAD.)
CHRIS: (HOLDING HIS HEAD) Ow... Am I really that stressed out? It's just a term paper. (HE GOES BACK INTO THE KITCHEN, OPENS A MEDICINE CABINET, AND TAKES SOME ADVIL.) Always time for pain medicine in the educational world.
(AGAIN, CHRIS MAKES HIS WAY THROUGH ELAINA AND THE DOOR. SHE LOOKS AT HIM IN BEWILDERMENT.)
ELAINA: Boy, has his new life made
him boring! I can't believe he actually went through with this whole
rebirth thing. But after what happened to him last time, he does
deserve this kind of life. A home, a family... I'm happy for
him. (SHE THEN REMEMBERS THAT HE IS LEAVING THE HOUSE, AND SHE QUICKLY
FLIES OVER TO DIRECTLY ABOVE HIS SHOULDER, LEGS STILL CROSSED, LOOKING
OVER AT A BOOK HE READS AS HE WALKS DOWN THE SIDEWALK. HER FACE GOES
BLANK, THEN SHOCKED, AND SHE FALLS ONTO THE GROUND.) A dictionary?!
CHRIS: Ah, here's one I don't know!
Sibboleth. Noun. Any test word, watchword, or pet phrase of
a political party, a class, a sect, etc. "He fought the censors and
prohibitors... and destroyed shibboleths with a whimsical delight."
Time magazine.
ELAINA: I take it back. He
needs something a little more exciting than this. (CHRIS REACHES
DOWN INTO HIS BOOKBAG AND PULLS OUT ANOTHER BOOK AFTER PUTTING THE DICTIONARY
AWAY. ELAINA SEES THE BOOK TITLE AND SHOOTS BACK OVER HIS SHOULDER)
Ah, there you go! A Thousand and One Arabian Nights! Maybe
he does remember!
CHRIS: I can't believe he's making
us read this...
(CHRIS GRUMBLES AS HE READS. A BIG LET-DOWN FOR ELAINA.)
ELAINA: Maybe not.
CHRIS: Feh. Give me a good
science fiction any day. (HE REACHES INTO HIS BOOKBAG, PUTS THE BOOK
BACK INSIDE, THEN BRINGS OUT ANOTHER, ENTITLED "MASQUERADE: PART
TWO". HE ROLES HIS EYES, THEN PUTS IT BACK INSIDE HIS BACKPACK.)
Who am I kidding? That series is getting more and more like an afternoon
soap opera with every new page... Especially this one. For
entertainment's sake, I hope the movie's better than the book for once.
ELAINA: (HOVERING OVER HIS SHOULDER,
SHE UNZIPS HIS BACKPACK.) Science fiction, huh? Wonder what
that's all about. (SHE TAKES OUT "MASQUERADE" AND STARTS TO READ.)
"Djai whispered over to Kenny as Reko walked into the graveyard with a
solemn face, 'When we stay at the homeless shelters, she reads the bible
to those who can't read. The old book has been torn and taped so
many times that it's difficult to read, but she's so into it that she's
practically got it all memorized. You should have seen it.
A while back, about two or three people started to sit around her while
she read to herself, and she started to read aloud. Over the next
week or so, a few more people came over to hear her. After a month,
everyone in the building sat around her as she read. Eventually,
she was so popular that she sat at the front of the cafeteria every night
reading to those who wanted to hear His word.'" (SHE STOPS READING.)
Hey, they're talking about my boss!
(THEY BOTH ARRIVE AT THE LOCAL LIBRARY. CHRIS WALKS INSIDE, PUTS HIS BOOKBAG DOWN, AND WALKS TO THE "CLIFF NOTES" SECTION. HE FLIPS THROUGH SLOWLY, MUMBLING.)
CHRIS: Where is that darned thing... Ah, here it is! (HE BRINGS OUT THE "THOUSAND AND ONE ARABIAN NIGHT'S CLIFF NOTES" BOOK.) This is a whole lot better than reading that thing.
(ELAINA IS OBVIOUSLY VERY MIFFED.)
ELAINA: Not interested, huh?
(SHE MOVES HER ARMS IN A MYSTICAL FASHION, AND THE ACTUAL "THOUSAND AND
ONE ARABIAN NIGHTS" NOVEL HANGS OVER HIS HEAD. CHRIS DOES NOT NOTICE
UNTIL ELAINA LETS GO OF THE LEVITATION ENCHANTMENT AND IT BEANS
HIM. HE WINCES.) That'll knock some sense into him!
CHRIS: What in the world...
Must've fallen from the shelf. (OPENS THE BOOK.) But there's
no place for a library card. (HE SEES "CHRIS GALLAWAY" WRITTEN IN
THE CORNER OF THE COVER.) This is mine!
ELAINA: I can't believe this...
(SHE TRIES TO DUMMY SLAP HIM, BUT INSTEAD HER HAND WHISHES STRAIGHT THROUGH
HIS HEAD. CHRIS GETS A CHILL.) Darn it.
CHRIS: Geez, you'd think with all
the taxes we get charged around here a non-profit organization building
could get a decent air conditioning.
ELAINA: (GAZING AT HER SURROUNDINGS)
I've never seen such a place... (SHE FLOATS OVER TO THE ROMANCE SECTION
AND PICKS UP A BOOK. AFTER STOPPING ON A PAGE, HER EYES OPEN WIDE,
AND SHE THROWS THE BOOK BACK ONTO THE SHELF.) Just what kind of things
are people today reading?! That was disgusting!
(CHRIS MAKES HIS WAY OVER TO THE CHECK-OUT COUNTER. A RECEPTIONIST IS AT THE STATION, AN ELDERLY VOLUNTEER.)
CHRIS: Ma'am? (THE RECEPTIONIST
LOOKS UP AT HIM.) Are these available for check-out?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes, dear boy.
They are. I'll just enter it into the computer, and you'll be all
done! Can I see your library card?
CHRIS: Sure, just a minute.
(AS HE SIFTS THROUGH HIS BACKPACK FOR HIS LIBRARY CARD, ELAINA FLOATS OVER TO THE COMPUTER.)
ELAINA: Now, I've seen Iz do this
plenty of times for me to understand it. (SHE TYPES IN A FEW CODES,
THEN SMILES HAPPILY.) Now, I just wait for a reaction! He'll
have to read the book now!
CHRIS: Ah, here it is! (HE
HANDS THE LIBRARY CARD TO THE RECEPTIONIST.) Here you go.
RECEPTIONIST: Thank you very much.
Now, all I have to do is scan it into the computer... (SHE DOES SO,
AND AN ALERT COMES ONTO THE SCREEN.) Dear boy, you have a late fee
you haven't paid yet.
CHRIS: What? That dollar I
owed a while back? I paid that a long time ago! I've checked
out plenty of books since then!
RECEPTIONIST: Oh, I'm afraid to
say that this is much more than a dollar, my boy! (SHE TURNS THE
COMPUTER MONITOR TOWARD CHRIS.) How's this figure?
CHRIS: What?!?!?! It's impossible!
This would have meant I checked out over a thousand books since the time
I was born and never returned them!
RECEPTIONIST: Well, my dear, I think
this calls for drastic measures. Either you hand over the fine now,
or you don't come back until you have the money.
CHRIS: It must be a glitch--
RECEPTIONIST: Glitch smitch.
Give me that book! (SHE SNATCHES THE CLIFF NOTES FROM HIS HANDS.)
No shortcuts until you pay up, mister!
(ELAINA GIGGLES TO HERSELF AS CHRIS WALKS OUTSIDE, STILL HOLDING HIS COPY OF THE NOVEL. SHE FOLLOWS HIM OUTSIDE.)
ELAINA: It serves you right. Such a great piece of literature must be read in order to fully appreciate it. I find it a miracle you can actually read now! You've gone so far, Philip... Oh, Iz... What am I going to do? When should I tell him?
(NEMO APPEARS IN FRONT OF ELAINA, HOVERING JUST AS SHE IS. "IT" IS IN THE FORM OF THE HYPERACTIVE GROUNDHOG AGAIN.)
NEMO: Not yet, Elaina! You
know the rules! He's gotta get a sense of you before you can contact
him in any way.
ELAINA: Nemo, there's got to be
a way. (SHE HOVERS A LITTLE LOWER IN ORDER TO PET ITS BACK.)
Isn't there some way I could get in contact with him any sooner?
NEMO: Not any legal way.
ELAINA: I didn't say it had to be
legal.
NEMO: If either one of us gets caught,
we'll be frozen in time! (ITS EYES SUDDENLY OPEN WIDE) Uh-oh!
Iz needs me. I'll see you around. And remember, no funny business!
ELAINA: Okay, Nemo. (IT DISAPPEARS.)
Oh, no... He's gone ahead of me! (SHE FLOATS HIGHER INTO THE
AIR IN ORDER TO GET A BIRD'S EYE VIEW OF THE CITY.) Ah, there he
is! (CHRIS IS ON THE STREET, AND HE GOES INTO A BOOK STORE.)
More books, Philip?
(NEMO REAPPEARS.)
NEMO: Princess! I have great
news!
ELAINA: What is it?
NEMO: Iz called me in to tell me
that you've already made sufficient contact with him that you can communicate
through his dreams!
ELAINA: Really?! (NEMO
NODS EXCITEDLY.) Well... What good will that do me? I
doubt that this is the kind of person who's been brought up to believe
what his dreams tell him.
NEMO: But didn't he look at his
horoscope first thing before he left home?
ELAINA: Maybe... It's just
crazy enough to work. Just tell me what to do, and I'll go at it!
(CHRIS WALKS OUT OF THE BOOK STORE, RECEIPT AND A CLIFF NOTES BOOK ON "ARABIAN NIGHTS" IN HIS HANDS.)
NEMO: Uh-oh...
ELAINA: Just a moment. (SHE
FLOATS DOWN TO CHRIS, OPENS HIS BOOKBAG, AND MAKES THE NOVEL FLOAT
IN FRONT OF HIS FACE.) Three, two, one...
CHRIS: Holy--! (HE JUMPS AWAY
FROM THE BOOK, THEN SNATCHES IT FROM THE AIR. ELAINA GIGGLES.)
This day couldn't get any stranger.
ELAINA: Oh, I think it could...
(SHE SNATCHES THE CLIFF NOTES FROM HIS HANDS. CHRIS IS SHOCKED.
HE TRIES TO GRAB IT FROM THE AIR ABOVE HIM, BUT ELAINA CARRIES IT
JUST BEYOND HIS REACH.)
NEMO: (FLYING DOWN TO ELAINA)
Don't you think you've had enough fun with him for one day?
ELAINA: Wait for it...
(SHE CONTINUES TO MAKE THE NOTES HOVER ABOVE HIS HEAD UNTIL A CROWD GATHERS. CHRIS NOTICES AFTER A VERY LONG WHILE. HE GRINS SHEEPISHLY, HIDING HIS EMBARRASSMENT, JUST AS THE NOTES FLY INTO HIS FACE.)
CHRIS: Yeah, it's just a little magic
trick I've been practicing! (HE TAKES A BOW, AND SCATTERED CLAPPING
IS HEARD COMING FROM THE CROWD. A FEW GROAN. THE CROWD GOES
BACK TO THEIR OWN BUSINESS.) I was wrong. If this is how my
life looks when I'm awake, I'd hate to see my dreams.
ELAINA: Oh, just you wait, Philip!
Just you wait!
